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By: Davey W

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Written to the idea of: Wearside and the 70's, a cursory love affair.

OK, so 'Wearside', the object of whose affection exactly? And does she play hard to get?
I see her (Wearside)as a bit rough, a bit naive but really good in bed, she will, as the saying goes, 'Dae Owt' plus she makes a good fry up and she'll back you in a fight.
I can do this but the briefis too broad - I only surfaced from the estates in about 79 - give me one or two more facts. Something snappy, like ...
"Gary Cooper, Deborah Kerr, Revenge ..."
or "Kenneth More, tin legs, World War 2..."
or   "Peavey Deuce: parallel, series or just very loud."
A couple of moments.
A gig.
A glance.
The smell of Peel Street on a Tuesday afternoon.

Here's a brief History to get you going.
The North East was part of the Danelaw.
We don't make it into the Doomsday Book (a wasteland, that's all we're described as).
From the time of the conquest Durham County was seen as the extreme Northern end of civilisation - beyond that were jocks and thieves.
During the Civil War, Sunderland was allied to the Roundheads and Newcastle to the Cavaliers.
We won the Civil War but they got their revenge three hundred years later when they closed down the only theatre company in Sunderland AND refused to let us have the Metro for thirty years after it went to Pelaw.
A hundred years ago Sunderland made 75% of the worlds commercial shipping.
Honest. More than The Clyde, Tyne and Belfast combined, in terms of tonnage.
But only small/medium boats. The river bend and all that.
Now we're owned by the Japanese and the French.
And the Great God of Call Centres - Preswon.
And we don't build any ships at all.



 

Half of all Sunderland kids are born blonde, but they go darker as they get older.
Our accent makes us sound Swedish, only the actual words are different.
The typical Sunderland fishing coble is designed around the same structural template as a viking longship, only it's quite a bit shorter so they can rape, or pillage, but not both at the same time, as you can't fit women and a horse and a bag of gold into the coble all at once. Not if you want to fish or collect lobster pots.

When lobsters all get trapped in a pot, if one of them tries to escape the other ones drag him back. True.
There, we're back to Sunderland again.

I'm making at least 42% of this up.

 

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